You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
