Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
