Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Your cock deserves a montage
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
