I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Your penis caused this!
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