this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Someone shattered a urinal.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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