yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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