a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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