Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I looked at my own cervix.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
