she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
