we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
