I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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