it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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