Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
