I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
