I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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