New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
