do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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