Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
