Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
