you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
