I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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