Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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