RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
