Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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