Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize