he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
