This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
