I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Boobs speak an international language.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
