the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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