The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
