capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
