that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
