You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
