dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
