no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
