Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
