Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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