I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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