hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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