so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
