and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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