Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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