Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
