Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
