The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
