We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
