EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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