is your mom at the bar?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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