Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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