That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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