singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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