I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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