Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
