i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
