Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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