Well douche your snatch and let's go!
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
