Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
