She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
