It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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