The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
