They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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