Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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