I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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