Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
